When God is Silent

When God is silent I go crazy. I’m like an ADD super-charged squirrel in my natural environment going from one thing to another and even in my sedentary state I have the turkey brain. I have a feeling that may describe you too. The world is full of us. Ritalin dependent squirrels, am I right? Anyway back to my story with a lesson.

I have been about two years out of being bi-vocational. For those that don’t know I have owned Figaro’s Pizza for 18 years and for five of those years I also was also a Spiritual Development Pastor. I resigned from the pastorate around two Easters ago and have been awaiting what is next. God has been pretty silent on the subject which I’m not thrilled about. Actually I’ve had a beef with the big guy about it. Operating one store is not enough of a challenge for this squirrel man. He has more for me than I am doing and I know it. You know the feeling, you aren’t doing what you are capable of doing but no doors have been opened. It’s frustrating and it ticks me off. I have prayed that God would just show me and there have been crickets.

What do we do in those moments where God is silent on what to do next?

As you can guess this squirrel guy just does a bunch of stuff and looks more like a squirrel dodging tires than someone called by God. Pro tip: Don’t do that.

Visionary

You and I are vision casting leaders and vison casting leaders can get stuck dreaming about the future. Vision is how businesses are started, churches planted, and movements created. God gifted us with vision and that is a good thing. However, when we get caught up in the questions about the future we are not living out a life that honors God rather we are in squirrel mode.

Called for this Moment

God is calling us to this very moment. Dream about the future but come back to today. God has stuff for us to do now. I know that isn’t earth shattering but I realized recently that most of my prayers are about the future and not about this moment. When we seek future answers I have found that most of the time God is silent, however, when I ask Him current questions He has quite a bit to show me.

When God is Silent Who Should I Love?

One of the questions I have been asking that you may want to consider is; “God who do you want me to love well today?” When we ask a question that is in the character of God, He will show us someone. God is love. God will show His followers who to love. The question is, will we listen? God will show you who HE wants you to love if you are courageous enough to ask.

God gave us the Holy Spirit to be active in our lives. He will show us who and how to love. He will show us when we should shut up and listen. Ask Him to be in your day and be active. Then trust Him with your day. It’s easy to pray for help and divine appointments and then be ticked when the day doesn’t go according to our infinite wisdom (sarcasm is intended). Ask God to direct your steps and trust that He does.

Speaking of trusting God, lets trust Him with our future. As we love well and are guided by the Holy Sprit we are going to go on the coolest adventure. However, when we are constantly obsessing over when, where, and what in the future we are squirreling it. The problem with this other than our lack of faith is that it’s fruitless.

When God is Silent Let the Ground Rest

Obsessing over the future is like a farmer who plows a field to plant seeds and then tomorrow plows the field again and again continually. Then stands there and wonders why his seeds didn’t come up. We are called to plant seeds and let the ground rest. In these moments where it looks barren God is working. He brings the seeds to harvest when we are faithful with today. Move forward in love, do what the Holy Spirit tells you to do, and let the ground rest. A harvest is coming, I can see it.

Present Day

This was written over a year ago. I’m happy to report that after letting the ground rest God is speaking more and I’m getting doors opened for me that needed time. That is the great part of our journey. We never outgrow our need to trust God with the unknown as we step down a foggy path. Through loving others and living our best in the moment He will reveal in His time. Be blessed on your journey.

4 Obstructions to Vision

Obstructions to vision can be invisible killers to our leadership. This summer I had the opportunity to go fishing in Alaska for a week in the great open tundra. It was a trip I had looked forward to for a few years. My dad, brother, and brother in law all got to go on this epic guys trip. We took a float plane into a lake where we were going to camp for a few nights. I was so excited for this once in a lifetime experience. That afternoon we hiked a few miles to a beautiful stream that we were going to fish all day. Breathtaking is an understatement; it was an unexplored fishing paradise.

I was taking in the moment, looking all around me and it was more beautiful than I could imagine.

The only thing that made this day a challenge was the strong wind. As I was taking in the beauty around me I looked upstream. My perfect moment started to shift as I saw something curious, a family member that will remain nameless, get his bear spray out. He proceeded to take the safety off of the spray can and pointed it down at the water.

He better not, I thought.

I watched as he pulled the trigger.

The spray shot out.

The wind was headed toward me.

Before I knew it I was coughing up a lung and my eyes were watering.

Beauty and vision changed rapidly to crying and coughing, as manly as possible of course. Something invisible changed everything in that moment. I could think of nothing, I could see nothing.

It reminded me of times in my life where I lost vision as a leader. Beauty of a vision obstructed seemingly from nowhere.

When you are leading, the biggest obstruction to your vision are things that are seemingly small. There are 4 obstructions to vision that you must overcome as a leader.

Failure

“Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.” – Winston Church Hill

What a great quote, thanks Church Hill. Is that all!? In reality failure hurts really bad. At least is does for me. Maybe you just bounce up and move on; if you do I’m jealous. I struggle and wallow in my failure. Sometimes I get way too familiar with my failure as I play it over and over in my brain, especially in the middle of the night when I should be sleeping. Often when failure happens all we can see is the failure and if we aren’t careful it can become part of our identity. Blinded to the vision that we had we can sit in our misery.

Moving Through Failure

At times I have become an expert at failure and so I have a couple tips to move through these moments in time. The first thing that I need when I fail is to get out and workout my body. A run can help me return my setback into its actual size. The world seems a little brighter and possibilities a little more exciting when we workout. Failure wants us to be still and to relive it. Working out is the first act of returning our enthusiasm.

Community is the next thing that helps me to regain vison after I fall on my face. The more spectacular the failure, the more we need to be reminded that is a moment and not our identity. People that surround us in our moment of need is not something that happens overnight. We need to actively build in community if we hope to accomplish any vision.

Busyness is one of the Obstructions to Vision

I love to be moving all the time. Sometimes it looks like a beautiful dance, other times I look like a squirrel dodging tires so I don’t become a pancake. Pancake dodging Zech is more often the case and when we are in this mode we will lose our vision every time. That’s why busyness is one of the sneakiest obstructions to vision because we feel like we are going somewhere. We get more focused on the car coming at us than where we are going. What is interesting is that a squirrel just has to pick a direction and it would be fine, but instead it tries to out juke the oncoming pain. The outsmarting ends in a death of a vison for us as well. Busyness has only one solution.

Quitting Busyness

When I feel an overwhelming since of busyness a lot of times I push harder. Somehow the belief is that more of the same will fix my life. The lie is that if we work a little harder we can work our way out of the busy state we are in. The key is to see the forest through the trees.

One way that helps me to regain vision is to make a list of all the things that I “have” to do. Once I have the list I look at it and see what things I can delegate, what I can procrastinate, and what really needs to get done. This little exercise frees my brain and eyes to be able to see the vision again. At that point you can see your list with new eyes and pick through the things that don’t even align with your vision and eliminate what doesn’t belong. To get vision back it often is what we don’t do more than what we do.

Offense is one of the Obstructions to Vision

Offense is an obstruction to vision. For example, someone spraying you with bear spray can get you offended, hypothetically of course. When we get consumed with what someone has done to us sometimes that is all we can see. We reduce them down to a moment in time or moments in time. All the while wasting energy and focus in a fruitless endeavor. What often adds to offense is usually we don’t just keep the offense in our brain, now we have to talk about it to others wasting even more of our precious focus and energy.

Breaking Loose From Offense

We need to rid ourselves of the chains of offense. For me this is done through prayer and alone time with God. I need God’s help to move past my offense and help me to forgive my offender. Sometimes a follow up conversation with the person that offended me is needed but honestly for me I can’t make that conditional of my forgiveness. When we make our forgiveness conditional on the actions of another we give them all the power. Choosing to forgive does not mean that trust is given back. It means that I’m no longer holding onto what was done. For me I can tell when I really have forgiven someone when I can think about what happened without getting worked up. Forgive so you can see again instead of hacking on bear spray and unforgiveness.

Lack of Sleep is one of the Obstructions to Vision

Sleep is so important to the way we view life. I confess that sometimes my sleep is an after thought but when I do this it doesn’t take long before I start complaining and problems become bigger then they really are. I’m in a season right now that sleep has been a little more challenging. Sick kids have woken my wife and I up and I have been less patient and excited about my business. My vision is suffocated by a wet blanket of lack of sleep.

Resting

When we struggle to sleep there are often many reasons. Sometimes it can be circumstances that are temporary, like sick kids or worry and fear waking you up with a racing mind. We need sleep and in the hustle culture other leaders often brag about their lack of sleep and long work hours. There are different solutions for this lack of sleep. Overall, if you have trouble wanting to go after a vision you may just need a nap. Jesus took naps and you should too.

Lack of sleep, offenses, busyness, and failure are all obstructions to vision and spin us up in a cycle of anxiety or depression. Take some time away to recalibrate what you are doing and why you are doing it. Pray to God for guidance, get some outside perspective, go for a walk, or take a nap. The chocking on bear spray will fade and the beautiful scenery of your vision will return. Be blessed on your journey.

5 Principles to Becoming More Present

We often struggle with being present with our families and in our businesses or work. We move through life lost to what is right in front of us.

My family and I have been experimenting the last few years with producing more and more of our own food. It is a fun and rewarding thing for me to do, but it can also be frustrating and time consuming. The last few years we have tried our hands at raising Bourbon Red turkeys. We have raised these turkeys from eggs to table. In peak season at our place last summer, I was caring for over a hundred birds with one hundred meat chickens and a dozen turkeys. My patience was thin and turkeys tested that patience.

One of our fiesty turkeys would spend all day pacing the fence trying to get out. It was like watching a fowl’s version of Shawshank Redemption; anything to get out of turkey jail. This little guy would find new ways to get out. It was so annoying. When this turkey would reach its jail break heaven and get out, it would spend the rest of the day trying to get back in. Back and forth, constantly pacing. It would be funny if I didn’t have to play “Catch the Turkey.”

Slap to the Back of the Head

One morning as I was going out to feed the turkeys, there was little Tom trying to get back in. I muttered under my breath, “Stupid turkey.” In that moment I felt God whispering, “You are just like that turkey.” Stupid? I pondered. I don’t think that’s what God was saying; at least I haven’t been called stupid by God yet. When I’m at work I think about being with my family and when I am with my family I think about work. Presence is missing and I’m just a gobbling fence runner, back and forth in my discontented little state. I have noticed that most people struggle with presence, maybe you struggle with presence too.

I wish that presence was as easy as “just do better,” but I have found it’s not. Like each time my mind wanders I could just stop. Stop it, done. No more running fence lines to get out or back in. A constant state of anxiety and pushing to get somewhere else to something else. This is not the life we are meant to live and there are some ways to be more present. Not perfect, however, not like Tom.

5 Keys to Becoming More Present

I’m Going to Remember This

I struggle to be present even in wonderful moments. My active mind won’t shut off from trying to solve problems. Goals are always out in front of this dream chaser and so I think about what I will do instead of being mentally at a birthday party or watching a movie. I go into full Tom mode. By the way, my neighbor’s name is Tom and he’s great, not at all like Tom the non present ignoramus turkey. Anyway, back to the dumb Tom turkey move that we all do. Missing milestones is a thing I know we all don’t want to do and there is a simple hack I learned that has brought me back to the beautiful now.

I simply say under my breath in moments, “I’m going to remember this.” This marker reminds myself that this is a big moment and I need to remember this. I need to be here to remember this. Let me repeat that, we need to be here to remember this. Multi-tasking is a Tom myth. Multi-tasking is for fence running gobblers, not powerful dream chasing men and women of God. Everyone in your circle needs the full version of you, not a mindless lump. Remember this by saying, “I will remember this.”

Technology Free Time Helps to be Present

I love technology, heck the only reason you are reading this is because of technology. Technology is awesome until it’s not. One of the reasons we struggle with presence is the go-go nature of technology. A lot of things that we want are at our fingertips in a moment. You can even get movies that are in the theater in the comfort of your own home the same day. No commercials and no waiting. It’s great and it’s a problem.

Boredom has been removed from our lives and so we are conditioned to move onto the next thing in our minds. That part is not great. We need to be okay with non activity in the brain to be able to be still in the moment. One way to work on this is to have parts of every day that has zero technology in them. I have found putting my phone away at certain points in the day and waiting a while to take my phone out has helped me to be okay with nothingness. It has become something I look forward to now even though the urge to entertain is still there. What are moments that you can be bored on purpose to have presence?

Accountability Helps Us To Be Present

I need help! Well maybe some mental help, but more than that I need people to walk alongside with. I need people to ask me how I’ve been doing with my practice of presence. It takes time to get better at being where our feet are. We will need others to encourage us and correct us when we spend a weekend at work and when we are physically with our families. Accountability helps in any area of our lives that is hard to change.

Community is always needed, especially when we fall down a lot. The practice of presence is an area that many of us will fail at several times; I know it doesn’t sound encouraging, but there is hope if we don’t give up. People are there to remind us when we fall down to press in and when we succeed give us an atta boy. In fact, the best gift is when we can be that encouragement and accountability for someone else as well.

Practice to Be More Present

We need to practice presence on a daily basis. Practice! Sometimes we try to go from a non present lump in full Tom mode, to full on in every moment and that won’t happen.

In time we can change our state to a more present one, however, some of us need more practice than others. I have found as I sit in silence for a few days looking at what is around me, I have been able to grow that time. Start at a managable time period and practice presence. Grow slowly and you will stop pacing the fence line as much.

Be Kind to Yourself

You will have ups and downs on this journey of life when you are trying to change. It’s why community and practice are so important. One area of change that we need to remember is to be kind to ourselves. We often show kindness to others a lot easier than we do to ourselves. Hold yourself in kindness as you try and change an ingrained habit for what is unnatural in our current world.

Mark victories and learn from mistakes. Perfection has never been the goal. Why do we shoot for stupid perfection; it’s another form of being a Tom. We pace the fence of regret instead of the fence of future. Hold yourself with an open hand. Our job is to not sit in judge and jury, but to focus on our part of the change process and allow God, the true change agent, to move in our lives.

What Now?

In every change we need to remember that we partner with God. He is the one that actually changes us. We can live out this list perfectly and be exhuasted, or we can do our part of the process and get a little less Tommy every day. Move with improvement as the goal as you cling to the Creator of the world to do the heavy lifting. Say you’re going to remember moments you want to remember, remove technology for moments, add accountability, practice, and be kind to yourself. You will be more present with time. Be blessed on your journey.

What helps you to be more present?

3 Broken Thought Patterns to Overcome

Making mistakes can reveal a lot of broken thought patterns to overcome. Tonight I was cooking up a storm; a beautiful, tasty shrimp pasta if I do say so myself. I wanted to do something nice for my wife, so I told her to not help and relax. Moving through the kitchen like a ninja, I karate chopped the kitchen cabinet that I had left open with the force of a thousand suns and broke the thing. This isn’t just any kitchen either. It’s my understanding, patient, and beautiful wife’s dream kitchen (she may or may not correct my work). Oh, it gets better guys. Yesterday I pulled forward too far in her newer van, another dream item, and bumped the curb. I’m as smooth as butter. I’m pretty sure she loves my focus and attention to detail. I know I feel fabulous. Okay, actually more like a failure.

Oops!

Let me tell you about my thought process after these back to back suave moves because it may help you. When I broke the door and bumped the van, my first reaction was to look to my wife for reassurance. I search for her to lie to me and tell me, “It’s fine!” It wasn’t though and she didn’t get mad, but just sat there calmly. She’s calm, I’m not. Then, I went to blame. “If she would have helped I wouldn’t have been rushing.” I thought. Next, my sight set on the stupid, flimsy cabinets who should have held up to my hulk moves. Lastly, I sit in my failure because I can’t do anything right (sulking).

Broken Thoughts

At the end, broken things revealed in me my broken thought patterns. I look for reassurance of who I am. I then blame others for my lot in life. If that fails, it’s the systems around me. Finally, it’s just my luck because I’m flawed. Resonate with any of these thoughts?

Each one of us has broken thought patterns. These patterns plague our lives and do more damage than the mistakes usually will. Next time you make an error, record your thoughts. Some are probably so engrained you may think they’re true. News flash: they aren’t.

Three common broken thought patterns and the truth that every Christian should know.

Validation is a Broken Thought Pattern to Overcome

My first instinct is usually to turn to those I love to tell me I’m still lovable. Sounds innocent enough, but it’s not. As a Christ follower I believe with my head that God loves me and made me unique for a purpose , however, sometimes it’s easier for me to believe that about you than me. In my doubt I look to others to be what only God can be. What a terrible weight to ask them to carry. Not surprisingly this leads to arguments when we expect a perfect response to fill a need they were never meant to fill.

If your response like mine is to look to others to validate you, you’re not alone. Remind yourself of who has the power to validate; it’s God. Take the burden off of those you love who are humans like you and look to your Heavenly Father. He has some things to say about who you are. Here are a few:

Ephesians 2:10~ “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

Psalm 139:14 ~ “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

Jeremiah 1:5 ~ “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”

Blaming is a Broken Thought Pattern to Overcome

Often I look to blame others for whatever has happened. In my smashing of a dream cabinet, I chose to blame my mistake on the lack of help. I rushed because no one was helping, maybe it was true. That’s the thing that’s difficult about blame; it may be partially true, but is it helpful?

In any situation involving others, there is my part and their part. When I focus on someone else’s part, I’m focused on things outside of my responsibility. I’m focused on things I cannot control and cannot change. This is the opposite of personal ownership and the opposite of helpful.

The truth is that focusing on my part is the only way to change anything. The part that we play is the only thing that God asks us to steward. When we get out of blame and instead walk in humility we can find freedom. In my situation, humility was saying, “I’m sorry for breaking her cabinet.” The end, nothing else matters.

System

After searching for a person to blame my eyes look for other things that can be at fault. Such as, traffic when I’m late or a cabinet that should have been okay with the force my knee put on it. I mean even now come on cabinet! I’m not Arnold Schwarzenegger or something. There is always something we can blame.

Blaming things is the same as blaming people. Things are outside of my control. Things are outside of my stewardship responsibility and may explain a bit of the puzzle, but not one that matters. There may be things that contribute to the problem, however, they are things we should account for and not things that we are victims to.

Radically Loved and Radically Responsible

Our minds are great at finding the solutions to the problems that we ask it. God wired us to be great problem solvers. The problem comes in when we are solving the wrong problem. Problems like what and who to blame? Problems like why am I a failure and screw things up? Your God given brain will give you solutions to the wrong problem.

Solutions in our life happen when I know in my brain and in my heart that God truly does love me no matter how big I messed up. When I am fully known and fully loved by God, I am not looking to someone or something to say who I am. Only then can we have peace and joy even when we run into broken things. In that assurance of who we are, we can live loved and find the strength to acknowledge where we messed up without judgment and blame. This confidence leads to quiet strength and we can be responsible and loved, fail and get back up. With love in our hearts and grace on our lips, we can overcome broken thought patterns. We can be loved and radically responsible.

What thoughts do you struggle with that are broken?

Celebrate on the Way to Your Dreams

The beauty of the sunset caught my eyes tonight like most nights. We picked out or I should say God picked out a house for us that faces west. It faces the coastal mountains here in the Umpqua Valley of Oregon. On these spring days the sunset is just breathtaking. God created the world saying, “It is good.” I feel that today. After a day of creating, God gives his stamp of approval. He lays out a beauty at the end of the day just to show off a little. God celebrated every day and every work. I struggle to do the same. Often, I miss what is good that God has done through me. I walk in false humility, “Nothing good to see here.” How do you celebrate on the way to your dreams?

Seeing What’s Wrong

I see what is broken or morphed and totally miss out on the good that God has created all around me. He is good and the works of His hands are good. He has given us good works to do. It is not a sin to acknowledge that. The question becomes, how do we honor what God has done instead of wallowing in our self-righteous false humility?

You are Holy

As the sun sets while I am typing, I just want to tell you good job. You have done well and you are more prized than you give yourself credit for. God loves you and knit you together in a certain way for such a time as this. You are not an accident or malformity. You are a righteous son or daughter of the King because of what He has done and not because of our works. It’s okay to celebrate on the way to your dreams.

I miss this beauty in-between the sunrise and the sunset. I can get trapped by the low, gray clouds or burnt by the scorching sun, easily swayed by the world around me. If you aren’t, well props to you. This man is swayed, and I have found that a few things remind me of my identity in Christ and keep me on the center line of Christ and His Glory.

List of Your Identity Helps to Celebrate on the Way to Your dreams

I must keep a list of my identity in Christ. I have to say the words out loud because I often feel like the opposite of what He has said I am when I trust Him with my life. Write a list of the areas you have the strongest doubt. Neal T. Anderson wrote a great book on this that will help you called, Victory Over Darkness. This powerful, life-changing book will help you if you struggle with your identity in Christ.

Godly Friends

I need people to speak the truth of the Gospel over me when I don’t believe it for myself. We need friends the most when we don’t have time to build those relationships. If you don’t have Godly friends in your circle at the moment, that’s okay. It happens to all of us. Start today in building relationships. Join a small group, attend church, reach out to old friends. Everyone is lonely right now. Don’t give up on trying to attain a tight knit group; it will be worth the price.

Silence and Solitude Helps to Celebrate on the Way to Our Dreams

Getting alone with God allows His Spirit to be heard. He is speaking, are you listening? We are busy running around chasing dreams. I’m worried that we are too busy to hear our Father whisper His plans He has for our lives. Get alone with God and listen to who He says you are to celebrate what He has done through you in the day.

Worship

Worship is to celebrate Him in all we do. He was there in the mundane and the big moments of the day. Did you slow down enough to see Him in it? As we worship through word and deed we see Him in all things and can celebrate what He has done.

Well done today, you did your best. God is big enough to handle your worst moments and your best. Your undying faith and your wavering doubt. Some moments you will walk away proud and others with your head low, but in it all I want you to hear your Father saying, “It is good, give it to me and sleep.” Be blessed on your journey as you follow God and do what He has told you to do. It’s okay to celebrate on the way to your dreams.

What helps you to celebrate the journey?

4 Keys to Navigate Change While Pursuing Your Calling

Spring is in the air. Yesterday it was in the mid-sixties in Southern Oregon and today it is dreary with a chance of snow tonight. Fall and spring are my favorite times of the year. Summer is too hot and winter is too dark. Maybe that says something about my personality; I am not really settled. Change is constant and very few things are a lifetime. Deep rooted callings and values are much more concrete, but those values play out in our vocation often differently at different stages. Change is inevitable when we chase dreams and if we aren’t ready for them, we can get caught standing still when we should move or moving when we should stand still. We need to navigate change well to reach our dreams.

My Navigating Change Story

I have been part owner and operator of a pizza restaurant for seventeen years in June. The last five years, I have served full time at a church and spent the last year and a half as the Spiritual Development Pastor. It has been a challenging, yet rewarding journey doing both. I have recently decided to resign from my pastoral position and that has not been an easy choice. In fact, I may pastor again someday, however, this is the right decision for now. Change; it’s messy and hard when you have two good choices. I have found that there is some crucial ingredients that make change a lot easier for me and I think they will help you as well.

Navigate change with these 4 tips.

Trusted Circle

We need a trusted circle of friends. I’m not talking about all of your friends, rather a group that you are 100 with and they are the same with you. This group is needed for counsel, encouragement, or to smack you in the back of the head when you’re being an idiot. We are all idiots sometimes. If you have not spent the time to build trusted friendships, it’s not too late to start now. Who can you take a chance in trusting? In the end that’s what it’s going to take, faith. If someone breaks your trust, forgive them and try someone else. Building a circle of friends is not easy, however, it is a must to navigating change in the best way possible. Open yourself up to the possibility that you don’t have all of the answers and others could be helpful.

Prayer Helps Navigate Change Well

Pray a lot to navigate change the way God intended you to. Not stupid fake prayers, rather real, raw ones that are honest. There are going to be times that you are angry with God. Tell Him. There are going to be times that you are overcome with gratitude. Tell Him. Your thoughts are not hidden from Him. Let the good and the bad ones always drive you to the feet of Jesus and He will restore you. Change will not be easy when you have put your heart and soul into something and you will need Him to guide you through and protect your heart from offense and pride. Pray to your Father in Heaven to navigate change with grace.

Surrender to Navigate Change

When you are running a marathon there is a saying that says, “Let the hill come to you.” It’s tempting to zoom up the hill and run out of energy or walk because it’s hard. Letting the hill come to you means that you maintain a steady stride and don’t force anything. When you are making a change, it will be easy to want to procrastinate to avoid the pain or to quit suddenly and speed up that hill. Surrender to God and the process and let the change come to you. Change is a gradual turn in the corner, not a jerky motion that scares your family and leaves you depleted. Surrender to the uncomfortable time frame to navigate change in a healthy way.

Talk and Listen to Navigate Change Well

I’m a verbal processor so no one needs to tell me to talk. Maybe you’re not and I want you to know that the people close to you can’t hear your thoughts. No one feels the same about change. I embrace change and my wife hates it. We have talked a lot about that and how our lives will look. Unity happens the more we share with each other and then compromise. If you are compromising without sharing where you stand, stop it. Talk about the uncomfortable things before they become a fight. Talk and listen to have healthy relationships as you navigate change.

Change is challenging and change is exciting. Embrace the sun and the dreariness on the way to the life that you envision. One thing I know for sure is that change is on your horizon and it’s up to you to make that change a beautiful thing or one that you hate. Stay curious about what God has for you next and be blessed on your journey.

What helps you to navigate change?

5 Keys to Overcoming Rejection to Reach Your Dreams

Rejection feels like the end of a dream. It feels like someone’s disapproval of our art is everyone’s disapproval. I feel foolish when I am rejected. I wonder why I am not enough in the moment. It feels isolating even though all of us have come face to face with rejection. We are all at one time or another not chosen or told what we love doesn’t matter. In those moments when you feel rejection deep in your soul I don’t want you to quit, heck I don’t want to quit. I want you to overcome rejection.

When rejection comes everything in you is going to scream that the pain is not worth continuing. It feels personal, I know it does, but rejection says more about the rejector than you. Man that’s a lot easier to type than believe. It sounds like a famous break up line, “It’s not you, it’s me.” It sounds cheesy, but it is true.

Life is a mix of art and science. There is rock solid truth and a bunch of art. Art is in the eye of the beholder. I love the country. It’s why I live in a town of under 1,000 people. You may live and love the city. Two different points of view. I mean I’m right and your wrong. 😉

Rise and fight for your dreams by doing these five things.

Identity in Christ Helps us Overcome Rejection

Our identity comes from God, the one who created us. He names us and the name He stamped us with is Royalty. When we surrendered our lives to Him, we were given His identity. We can take rejection as who we are, however, we are royal priests and not less than in some way. When you are feeling the pain of rejection remember whose you are to rise from the ashes.

Stillness

I tend to try to prove people wrong when I get rejected. This is terrible fuel. I want to move on quick, but we need to still our hearts so we don’t run on that junk fuel. Sitting with Jesus in silence helps me to hear Him. In our sitting with the Spirit of God, we can hear Him whisper to us our true identity. We can feel His love towards us and He will cause us to dream dreams again. Sit with Jesus and rise in His strength to overcome rejection.

Worship

Sometimes, when I’m rejected I get a little ticked at God. I know I’m a smart guy. I don’t know if you do that, however, I do it because I’m ticked that He made me in a certain way. Not logical, but it’s where I go. When we worship God at points when everything in us doesn’t want to, our hearts turn to Him in adoration. When I worship God I stop looking at my circumstances and I’m reminded of why I run after dreams. I run after dreams because I’m running after HIM. Worship Jesus and get the power to run again.

Dust Off

I was reading in the gospel of Luke and was reminded of when Jesus sent out the disciples to heal and cast out demons. Jesus gave them instructions and told them if they are rejected to dust themselves off and go to the next town. You aren’t going to be received by everyone. You aren’t going to be understood by most. We should dust ourselves off and move forward. If we don’t we end up sitting in our state and miss out on what God has for us ahead in the next “town.” Dust off and serve the next one.

Focus on Legacy to Overcome Rejection

I have three wonderful kids, okay they are wonderful most of the time. I want them to shoot for the stars and they are bound to have some pain leaving the atmosphere for those stars. One thing that gets me to grind toward dreams is that I’m not doing it for me. I’m sowing seeds into the next generation. Your kids watch you. They are little sponges soaking up what we do more than what we say we will do. We want to raise kids that are overcomers and fighters, not ones that bend to someone’s opinion of something they have done.

Rejection especially in the early stages of chasing after a dream feels bigger than it really is. I know it hurts and honestly rejection I faced in my childhood still hurts when I think about it today. Rejection only defines you when you allow it to. Remember whose you are and rise from rejection to work towards those dreams. Rise and get a reward from it instead of wallowing in it. Rise and move forward into the brighter future stronger for it.

What helps you rise from rejection?

Curiosity Gives You Courage to Chase Your Dreams

Curiosity gives you courage and as you’ve heard, curiosity killed the cat. Well, curiosity almost killed me. Okay, a little over exaggerated. I get into a lot of stupid situations because of curiosity. About a month ago, I had a predator barge through my electrical netting and kill a turkey on our little acreage. The next day, I made sure my electrical netting was up and working well. Nonetheless, the next night everything was gone. EVERYTHING!

The next morning, three turkeys and four chickens came back. I gathered them up and moved them to a more secure location. All except two chickens was what this chicken ninja couldn’t catch. I planned to get them at night when they went up to roost.

That night I went to fetch the fugitive chickens down the hill in our backyard with my cell phone light and that’s when I saw the glowing eyes staring at me. Me being the night and shinning armor, yelled at the mystery intruder. Suddenly, it ran a few yards away and crouched low to the ground. This wouldn’t do, so I kept screaming at the thing to get out and walked straight at it. Maybe it’s a racoon? I thought. No, too big. Maybe a bobcat? I had to find out what was lurking in my back yard and snatching up my poultry.

Slowly walking toward the trespasser while yelling at it until I got five yards away. I still couldn’t tell what it was and as I yelled, it crouched down but didn’t move. Then nothing, not a move. Suspicious and out of nowhere, I quickly hissed at it. I have no idea why I chose to hiss, except isn’t that what people do? Hiss at big glowing eyes in the dark? Well, it turned it’s head to the side and it was a flipping COUGAR! My curiosity turned to evacuation and I backed out of there like no one’s business. In case you are wondering, I can walk backwards really fast.

Curiosity Gives You Courage and Bravery

I was curious about what the eyes were and I walked right up to it and hissed at a cougar. Over time I have found that with my dreams too. I can do scary sometimes as dumb looking as hissing at a cat that could claw my face off things. Often in my curiosity, I dive in like when I jumped into my first restaurant. I didn’t know that I should be afraid. Unafraid, I dove in and ran the store, even slept in the back sometimes while working crazy hours. I didn’t know what was “normal” then. I was curious. Curiosity gives you courage in the unknown. Well, my second restaurant was harder and frankly I don’t know if I want to go through that again. Curiosity is gone and pain is seen.

Curiosity Takes the Emphasis Off of Me

When we are curious, we don’t think about our own safety. For example, giant flesh eating cat anyone?! In fact, I’m not thinking about myself at all when I am curious. I’m thinking about whatever I’m studying. It may be glowing eyes in the dark or my wife sitting across the table from me. When I am curious about her and what she is thinking or feeling, I don’t think about myself. Curiosity, in fact, drives my connection to her. The good thing is that she is a moving target and there is always more to find out! Curiosity takes the focus off me and puts it on others.

Curiosity Leads to New Opportunity

I could have opened a cougar spray company after that incident! In all reality when we ask why and why again we can find opportunity that we didn’t know was there. When we maintain curiosity we open ourselves up to new ideas, thoughts, and problems. Every entrepreneur knows the value of a problem. A problem is a business in waiting. Curiosity gives you courage to act on that opportunity. As you stay curious it will lead you into new opportunity that you never knew was possible.

Curiosity can be one of the most valuable things in the world or it can put you eye to eye with a she cat. Be wise about what you are curious about but never stop exploring new ideas and new thoughts. Breakthrough is just on the other side of a good question or a pondering thought. Dreams come true when we look at things differently.

What keeps you curious?

Chasing Dreams Increases Our Faith

Often, I need more answers than I have, and I wait to get those answers before I move. It’s a brilliant strategy that leaves me standing still. I cover it with adult sounding reasoning, and I agonize in my soul while I plead with God to just tell me what to do. Often I hear Him telling me just to follow Him, but I don’t like that answer. I want the answers because I really want certainty instead of requiring faith. Shockingly, those areas I am waiting for certainty, I am still waiting years later. One benefit to chasing dreams is that in the process we see that chasing dreams increases our faith.

Scripture Shows Stories of Faith

As I look through scripture, I see God inviting us on a great adventure. Little shepherd boy David faced mighty gargantuan Goliath and killed him. Noah built an ark for a flood when it had never rained before. Abraham left everything he knew in search of a place God would show him late; he left family and comfort for the unknown. Others like the disciples took up the call of Jesus and died a martyr’s death. We see those stories and we see the beginning to end and skip the messy majority when they did not know and they had no certainty.

Adventure often does not feel like adventure in the nitty gritty of life. It feels to me more like, “What the heck are you doing to me God? Did I do something that you’re not making life easier?” We want to be used by God, however, trusting Him is a little more difficult. That is when our dreams have the potential to increase our faith.

I have found a few things that have helped me to enjoy the journey a little more than I used to and not lose sleep when I do not know what path to take.

Process

The great journey of life is a process and a few years of living have shown me that no matter what things I fixate on, they are a fleeting desire. It seems that there is always a direction that I’m waiting for an answer on of what to do. I’m sure your life is no different. Through the process we are being formed by God. I believe one of the things that He is doing in the in between is shaping us into His image. While we wait for answers we are listening to the Spirit of God and in the process He changes us. Trusting that He is forming something good in you as you walk through the unknown brings joy to the moment. After all it’s the shaping of our lives that God cares about anyway. Valuing the process over the result will help to grow our faith.

Chasing Our Dreams Increases Our Faith and our Relationship With Him

Every step of faith I have taken has required a more intimate relationship with God. If God gave us the answers that we are wanting we would focus on that instead of Him. At least this guy would do that. I can tend to use God as an answer man instead of my Savior and friend. I have a hunch that you may be the same way. If we focus on the journey, we slowly draw closer to God. In those moments fear will subside as we focus on Him instead of the fork in the road.

Nothing Wasted

I have screwed up a lot. I mean A LOT! It’s kind of scary when I think about the amount of times I have sinned, doubted, stubbed my toe, or lost money in some stupid way. One of the things that I have noticed is as I bring those mistakes and losses to God, He has used them for His glory. This is not an excuse to go do something stupid; I know you may be like me and be looking for stupid to happen. It is a thing that should bring peace to your heart. God will use that path you pick even if it’s the “wrong one” when you surrender it to Him.

Certainty never reveals itself until we look back on what has already occurred. Instead of looking for certainty, go with something different, something better, go with Faith. Trust God to know more than you, because He does. Trust His timing and that He won’t waste a thing. He desires relationship and as we seek Him instead of our certainty, a truly great adventure will reveal itself in the rhythm of life. If you would like a sherpa to help you on your journey, I wrote a book to help that you can get here.

What helps you trust God when you don’t know what to do?

How to Hit Goals and Dreams Instead of Quitting

Most goals and dreams don’t come to fruition. Most of the time we give up before the result we desire. That can be a depressing statement, but I believe it’s fixable. I want you to hit your goals and dreams. You want to hit your goals and dreams. Mind blown, I know.

 I have been thinking about one of my favorite quotes from Jon Acuff, “Give the grave only bones.” Steward well all that God has given to you. God has given you tasks to do, dreams to reach, and goals to hit.

Goals and Dreams Don’t Have Constant Returns

Often times we think of goal outcomes as having a constant state of return, however, I have not found that to be true. When we change behavior on the way to a target we need to have a realistic time frame for visual change. Physically it’s easiest for us to understand this concept of slow change. I could lose five pounds and you wouldn’t be able to tell that I had changed physically. What’s more difficult is it takes a long time for me to lose five pounds. Somehow it’s not so long for me to gain that pesky five though. It’s funny how that works.

Any goal is the same slow growth. Actions for a period of time are required for change and change is hard to see until it’s not. Somehow one day all of a sudden change is visible and people start wanting to know your secret. When you are tempted to quit on your goals remember that change will happen in time, but probably not as quick as you would like.

Fall in Love With the Process

Process matters more than the end results. If we are only shooting at targets when we hit that target, we will stop. I have ran a few marathons and guess what happens when I finish those races? You guessed it. I stop running cold turkey with no effort; I’m that good. I hit the target and it is over. No race to aim for so no running for this guy. Same things happen when we aim at the target of a certain weight. People usually yo yo back to the old weight because the target is reached.

Make the target more about the process and you can maintain a new habit that you can build upon. A great example is to process out things that you enjoy that will help you lose weight. Workout a half hour a day six days a week and cut drinks that aren’t water and you will hit the goal and keep sailing on. Don’t fall for the yo yo of goal, hit, and done. Aim in a direction and make a habit that will last.

Goals and Dreams Need to be Yours

People that love you have great ideas for your life. They love you and want the best for you. Many times people form their goals that other people want them to have and not what they want. When my wife and I were first married she really wanted to pray together so I made it a goal. It never worked because I was too insecure about praying out loud and I failed at the goal. I have grown now and want to pray with her. I now don’t struggle to pray with her because I’m ready. Goals inspired by God and that burn deep in your heart are goals that have a chance. Pursue goals and dreams that you have, not what others want you to do, and you will have a chance at reaching them.

You can reach your goals and dreams that are brewing in your heart. You are full of potential, you have achieved some of those things, but if you have breathe in your lungs there is more work for you to do. Make goals and dreams yours, fall in love with the process, and be patient with the time they take. Keep God in focus and chase those dreams.

What helps you to not quit your dreams and goals?