Standing up front sweating in a tux it was 90 degrees out, and I was wondering how I could get any hotter. But there I stood in front of family and friends waiting for my high school sweetheart. We had been dating for one month shy of five years and with college behind us we were ready to start our lives together as one. Watching her walk down the aisle with her father I remember thinking, what a lucky man I was that I got to spend the rest of my life with her.
photo by: KC Newman Photography
In these moments, it’s easy to love. In these moments, it’s easy to see what I appreciate about my beautiful bride. Over the years, we have built a great life together. Three great kids, two businesses, great friends, and many more blessings. It has been a fun almost twelve years of marriage full of adventure, laughter, and tears.
Overtime in marriage habits get set. Subconsciously or maybe pen and paper together, chores, responsibility, and life becomes divided. This routine is not bad. It saves many arguments in a marriage. After a while this routine gets your relationship into a nice groove. Life starts to fly by until it gets interrupted by surprises like little ones. Then it takes a while to get your feet under you as you adjust to the new normal and the new routine.
Routines are great until they are not. Routines serve a purpose, but there are dangers to this repetitive life. Marriage can get stale at times and we often start to take our partner for granted. Your wife does the dishes every day and you stop telling her how much you appreciate her doing the dishes. Your husband always does the laundry and you stop appreciating not having to do it. After all, it’s their job so you save it for them. If you’re not careful you can feel alone even in marriage. Routines can cause your spouse to feel underappreciated, unloved, and disrespected. The one you use to pursue is now forgotten to your predictable life. Really routine can give way to self and a marriage focused on your own wants and desires is one that is headed for disaster.
What if you pursued your spouse like you were trying to win them? Little acts of love add up into momentum in your marriage. Being specific in praise, writing a note, surprising them with a small gift, doing “their” chores, messages, etc. What if one night a week you turned off the T.V. and talked? In all reality, it is not hard to make your husband or wife feel special. The problem is usually we do one thing and then expect an immediate response. This is not love. It is manipulation. Love is laying down your life for your wife men. It is showing your husband respect when he may not deserve it. It is thinking the best of your partner not the worse.
Building momentum in marriage is not easy, but once you do it man it snowballs. Once you decide to love uncommon, you have an uncommon love. Extraordinary love takes dedication, sacrifice, and at times long-suffering. Decide today that no matter what your spouse does, you will love them like you were dating. A marriage that is thriving is made up of two people discovering, exploring, and loving each other. A marriage that is two becoming one until death. Be blessed on your marriage journey.
How can you serve your spouse this week?
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