I struggle often wondering if I will miss God’s voice. Wondering if I will do enough. Wondering why and trying to figure out when.
With this mindset I tend to be very fearful. When I am advancing and working there is no fear, but when I stop and rest I really struggle. Doubt, depression, and reasoning fill my mind and I tend to feel like I am not doing enough or I am off the mark. My mind can be exhausted on “off” days from the mental circus.
Photo by: KCNewman Photography
I know for sure that this reaction is not trusting God. That it is one of the ways at which I and maybe you try to do things on my or your own strength. I react to life as a man that is broken and in need of a Savior which is good, however, the problem is that it usually goes with a man that feels like he can arrive. That somehow the need for God will dissipate. That if I fix that one thing I will be on my way.
This type of living ends in a feeling of guilt, pain, and shame. When I approach life like this, I am always feeling guilty because I’m always a little short of where I “should” be. I feel like I don’t spend enough time with my family, on my business, health, friendships, church, rest and God. One thing is always not getting attention as I try an insane juggling act. Guilt that I am letting a ball drop and always guilt about what I am not doing. Rarely do I focus on victory.
When we walk through life in this manner, we self-reflect our inner dialogue onto others. Because we feel guilty about not doing enough and if our spouse says, “The kids miss you,” it is taken on as guilt of missing time with them and blaming your spouse for thinking that. All the while it is us that thinks these things. “See not doing enough and focused on money,“ we may think, but it comes out as an argument with our loving spouse.
There is a better way and it is simple yet difficult to do. Surrender. When you are surrendered to God, you are relying on Him to work it out. You are waiting on God’s timing and trusting He will let you know. You are trusting His purposes even when you don’t understand your current struggle.
I use to think that meant that I don’t do anything which drove me nuts. It is not that, however, surrender is acknowledging that your wants may be different than God’s plan. This does not mean we don’t want, but does mean that God’s plan is above our wants. We are to love God, love others, and do our work as unto the Lord.
When your life is surrendered, you are not rushing around defending yourself. You are others focused instead of wants focused. You are not trying to control and manipulate, but TRUSTING. Move forward this week with a surrendered heart and watch the worry and worn out mind dissipate. Be blessed on your journey.
How do you stay surrendered to God’s plan?
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