Chasing a dream is like bringing home a newborn baby. The baby is cute and you love it, but it also cries and poops a lot. Life will never be the same the day you bring your child home from the hospital and life will never be the same the moment you seriously chase a dream in your heart. The amount of time, emotion, and physical energy that chasing a dream takes can, like most stressors, bring a couple together or tear them apart.
photo by: KCNewman photography
For a long time I chased my dream my way. Unfortunately, this did nothing but lead to strife in my marriage. Chasing a dream by yourself is a great way to be miserable and there is a better way. It is necessary for you to get on the same page as your wife. These 5 things will allow a couple to unite together around a common dream.
1.Clear her plate. Your wife has so much going on! It is easy to focus on what responsibilities we have that we forget the major tasks and responsibilities of our partner. Let me speak this from experience; she is not going to give you her full attention when she has a full to-do list. Clear responsibilities from her life so she can give you her full attention to dream with you.
2. Pray together. This should happen in all areas, but praying for a common vision, for peace in the house, and wisdom as a couple is a must. The unity that happens when you begin to pray together is huge. Praying together is one of the things that brings two goals into one vision over time.
3. Don’t cut her off. Sometimes it is easy to cut off our wives or equally bad not fully listen and weigh what she says. If you want buy in from both people, both have to contribute and both have to yield. Open your ears and close your mouth. The give and take that happens in marriage builds a stronger united front.
4. Remove distractions. Schedule time to turn off phones, television, internet, and all other technology. Make sure the children are asleep or better yet get out of town. Life moves at a million miles an hour. To be focused on each other and plan a future you need 100% of each other’s attention.
5. 7-45-48. Communication involves 7% of the words we say, 45% tone of voice and 48% body language. Uniting together requires expert communication. You must be conscious about what you are fully communicating and not just the words you say. Saying, “I value your opinion” with a negative tone and body language is not going to communicate positivity. Be conscious of what you are fully communicating in order to fully dream together.
The only way to dream together is to communicate your heart and hear her’s. Cast a vision together and your marriage life will flourish. Dreaming together is not easy. It is worth it though. The chain of priority should be God, then your wife, and then you bring up the rear. This is something I need to remind myself daily and you should as well. Dream together and life will never be the same! Be blessed on your journey.
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