4 Attributes Of Manhood For My Son

Zechariah Newman —  November 10, 2014 — 5 Comments

My son is four and he is beginning to cling to me more and more. Before I have been chop liver, but he is now wanting to wrestle, fish and play with me. It makes me happy and at the same time it makes me very aware in what I want my son to know. So this is an open letter to my son for when he is older.


Luke the world will tell you many things. That a man doesn’t cry. That you can’t be strong and compassionate. At the same time, many will tell you that being masculine is wrong. That the adventurer spirit that lives in you is not okay. That you should live a passive life living safe and meaningless. I want to talk to you about four different attributes that the world will distort, but you need to hold onto my words son.

1. Bravery. You will get the feeling that bravery is running into the fight and not being scared. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Don’t let appearances fool you. Bravery is doing what is right when you don’t want to. It means taking a stand when you want to throw up. It means fighting when you want to run. Bravery my son is taking a stand when you are scared to death.

2. Love. The world will tell you that love is about sleeping with a girl. This is not what love is. This is a byproduct of love and when it is not within marriage, it is a cheap knockoff. Love is 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” Love well, Luke.

3. Toughness. Again this is misunderstood and I am sorry that the world will tell you to act like a man when you are a child. They will say all sorts of things referring to your physical pain threshold. Toughness is mental fortitude. It is to keep going when others would quit. It is to deny the flesh and live by the spirit. Toughness is to deny yourself and put God in first place. You can only serve one master; choose God.

4. Role in marriage. Your job is simple, yet far from easy. When you find a girl to marry someday, it will be your life long duty to love her the way Christ loved the church. To lay down your life for her and live a life that is sacrificial. Choose a girl like your mom and you will be honored to love her the rest of your life. Do not focus on her role, but focus on yours. Love her the way Christ loves you. Cling to God and He will help you to love.

Luke, I love your sweet spirit. You care for those that many overlook. You are brave. Though many see meekness, I see strength and power. You make your daddy proud. I wouldn’t want you to be any different than what God wants you to be. I pray that as your father I will point the way to the perfect Father. Trust in Him and He will make you who you are meant to be. Be blessed and enjoy your journey son.

What are you speaking into your kids?


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  • My wife and I do not have children, but we’ve been blessed to work with children through the youth ages at church. As the opportunity presents itself, I’ve taken stands and encouraged the guys to take these stands you’ve written about. Sometimes, since they’re not my children, it’s presented a problem or two- but most time the parents are pleased with what I said. And, it’s always been because I care what happens to them in the long run.

    • That is great Allen. Every child needs the whole body. I remember in jr high specifically I needed men to tell me these things. Especially men outside of my family because in that season I didn’t listen to my dad. Keep speaking life my brother!

  • Great list Zech! I’m speaking courage and bravery into my 3 year olds life. I allow him to do things that might be scary for him and when I do I’m right beside him encouraging him and speaking positive words. Great post!

    • Thanks Dan. That is great that you are being proactive with your son. I love it;)

      • I make an effort to be proactive. Keep writing great content!