4 Steps To Making Your Dream A Family Dream

Zechariah Newman —  August 4, 2014 — 17 Comments

I am ashamed that in the early parts of my journey and still on certain days, I have viewed my family as a hindrance to my dream. If I only had more time. I can’t pursue my dreams because I don’t have time due to the demands of being a dad. These thoughts and excuses were part of my regular life. Blaming them instead of taking full responsibility for my inaction. I talked about this in length in my book, Dreams That Last. The bottom line is this; if you have a family you can either include your family or exclude them.

Including your family in the dream chasing journey will not come easy. It takes commitment and creativity to chase a dream with your family. These 4 things will help you to create a family dream.

family

1. Margin. This will sound the opposite of chasing your dream with your family, but it’s not. You don’t want your spouse or kids to hate your dream, so as much as possible work on your dream in the margins of your life. I write in the morning before my wife and kids wake up. This helps them to still love my dream because it doesn’t take away from time with them.

2. Have them help. As much as possible ask them to help you. I asked my daughter today how I could be a better dad. My wife, a new blogger, (aimed at you busy moms) corrects my blogs. In our restaurants, our kids have helped roll dough for a few minutes and they have even been tipped by customers. Make it a family affair as much as possible. Your family will be eager to help if you frame it right.

3. Ask and Listen. We need to ask and listen to our families about when to slow down and when it is okay to push. I struggle here as I am a little bit of a stubborn headed mule. I am working on this and you need to work on this too. Listen to your loved ones and if they tell you they feel second, ask them how you can change it. No defense; just listen and come up with an agreed upon plan.

4. Boundaries. Have clear boundaries of work time and family time. I love to write so much this is hard for me. I have stopped writing in the evening to be present as a husband and a dad. What time are you off and keeping sacred for your family? If you love your dream this may be hard, however, it is essential.

Let’s make it a priority to keep family first. Include your family whenever possible. This journey is too long and hard on your own. One day at a time, one action at a time. Encourage your family to speak up. Listen to each person and incorporate your dream into your family. If you do this your family will have a big dream and not just a dream so small for just one. Be blessed on your journey.

How do you include your family in your dream?

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  • Great tips! I once heard Bob Goff and someone asked him how he had the time to do the things he does spontaneously. He said he has the time because he build margin into his life.

  • You’re a family man, Mr. Zech! Thanks for keeping that grounding effect in front of me of our greater responsibility to our family… not our dreams. The “family as a hindrance” thinking is tempting, but toxic. I’ve experienced it. Thanks for the reminder to keep my feet on the ground AND my head in the clouds… simultaneously. 🙂

  • These are solid tips Zech. When we don’t include our family it won’t be long before they’re not on board. I include my family as much as possible. It helps them dream with me.

    • Then looks what happens when you do. Living in Maui doing work you love. Living a life of significance. Well done my friend;)

  • This is great stuff! There isn’t enough good christian content out there on the value of dreams and the appropriate way to pursue them. It’s usually one extreme or the other. Like dreams are all bad, or are an entitlement. Great balance on this site though, and also in this post – our God given dreams and passions matter hugely, they bring glory to Him, but there’s a way for them to be properly expressed. Making our families a part of the process is definitely a big part of that. Thanks for sharing this.

    • Wow thank you Micah! That means a lot. I totally agree with everything you said;)

  • Great tips. I learned to include my family opinions on what I am doing. It has made it an easier journey.

    • Thanks Bernard. I’m glad to hear that! I love your thoughts to think on;)

  • Great points Zech! The boundaries principle is something I constantly think about when it comes to my family and dream. Thanks for this great content.

    • Thanks Dave! I struggle the most with that but I’m getting there;)

  • Wonderful post Zech!!!

    A life balance is essential. We have to have boundaries so we are not shifting out of balance in our life. My priorities always need to remain: God, family, work, and then any thing else that can allow me to move closer toward my dreams. Great post!

    • Thanks Dan. You are a great example of this. You have paused to keep first things first! Keep leading my friend;)

      • Glad to comment. Thank you for the nice words:)

  • Such an eye opener. I perceive that increasingly, many people will have their families included in their dreams in the near future than it has been in the past due to the new world we are facing.
    For me, talking and listening is key…especially when I talk passionately about my dreams, I find it easy for my wife to connect and want to support. In turn, what propels should be that I can be able to listen to her passionate pursuits and offer to support her. Am so thankful to you for posting this.

    • Thanks Lawrence. Passion and communication. Love it! Thanks for stopping by!