Life is a difficult thing sometimes. Nothing stays the same. We will be moved backward or forward. Are you advancing? Are you taking back ground restoring what was lost? One of my mentors has told me, “Embrace the pain.” This was very hard for me to hear but so true. You and I need to let our pain and discomfort be a catalyst for our personal development. Our greatest pain can be our biggest testimony and our greatest mission in this world. I have written my story of hope which was so painful. Fear of rejection, the loss of family, and the pain of expectations were other painful points. When we face pain we will never be the same. Facing difficulties and challenges is unavoidable. Learning from them is the part that is optional. John Maxwell has said, “A bend in the road is not the end of the road unless you fail to make the turn.” We want to be shaped by pain, but not defined by it. These 4 things help me embrace the pain and grow.
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1. Mindset. How we look at our pains will determine how we end up on the other side. We can choose to look at the glass as being half full or half empty. We cannot control everything, however, we can control our attitude. Everything in life begins and ends in the mind. Focus on adopting a positive life stance. If we have a positive outlook, the good and bad things in life will be better. If we have a negative stance, unfortunately everything will be worse. Focus on the good and it will make the pain a little less painful.
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” ~ Philippians 4:8
2. Time. Allow yourself to have some time to grieve. We are not thoughtless robots; we all have feelings. The bigger the pain the more time we need. We expect others to flip a switch sometimes. Give yourself some grace. I know it can be hard. You will get through this. Some pains like losing someone close to you can last a lifetime.
“For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.” ~ Romans 8:18
3. Help. We should not walk through life alone. We need people to walk along side us in good times and in bad. We as humans are relational beings. We need to reach out to those that are close to us in time of pain. Don’t bottle it in and close yourself off from others. In great pain this is my first reaction. It is wrong and can be dangerous. Sometimes you just need someone to cry with. Someone that will listen to you and have empathy.
“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” ~1 Thessalonians 5:11
4. Make good changes. Pain can make us face changes in our own lives that we need to make. When pain comes we either face the feelings and try to change or we try to escape. Trying to escape can lead to hiding in addiction and many other self-destructive things. We need to slowly but surely train ourselves to fight for positive change and not run toward destruction. Think through what you can learn from the pain. Here are a few examples of things I have learned. I will be rejected; embrace it. Life is short; love as big as I can. Kids are a blessing; be patient with them. I can choose the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. These were not fun lessons, but I would not change them for anything in the world.
If you are walking through major pain at the moment I hope this helps. It can be so painful and I hope that I did not appear to gloss over the pain. I pray that this helps you to grow through your painful time. Allow this time to draw you close to the feet of Jesus, the only one who can truly change us. Be blessed on your journey.
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